<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Stomp Out This Disaster Town by rowerowemyboat</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23323573">Stomp Out This Disaster Town</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/rowerowemyboat/pseuds/rowerowemyboat'>rowerowemyboat</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Dismemberment, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Implied Character Death, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Slow Burn, Time Travel Fix-It, Wookiepedia reliant, World Between Worlds</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 16:15:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,626</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23323573</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/rowerowemyboat/pseuds/rowerowemyboat</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After defeating Palpatine with Rey, Ben Solo's life is saved by an enemy pulling him into the World Between Worlds. Together, they search for a way out, but Ben is haunted by the events that occurred in the year before his redemption.</p><p>Meanwhile, Rey copes with the loss of her soulmate, resolving to help the Resistance rebuild the galaxy and free the conscripted stormtroopers while she searches for other Force sensitives.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kylo Ren &amp; Rey, Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey &amp; Ben Solo, Rey &amp; Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Thank you to the amazing Zannah for beta-ing and listening to my ideas! &lt;3</p><p>Tags will be updated as I write more, please let me know if there's a tag I missed, especially if it's a trigger.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
  
</p>
</div><p> </p><p>The fleet of the First Order was a sight to behold. Dozens of Star Destroyers hovered before him, reminding Kylo Ren of the mobile hanging above his bed as a small child. In a way, that mobile had been his first fleet. He had commanded X-wings, bombers, freighters, and drop carriers, wagging his fingers sleepily to spin the mobile before it hypnotized him to sleep. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>There were different ships in this second fleet, and thousands more. TIE fighters blinked in and out, like stars disappearing and reappearing. He had been Supreme Leader for a year now, but was still in awe of the sheer amount of firepower he controlled. Not that he had much knowledge of how to organize the fleet for a fight, that was a task he left to his generals, preferring to lead smaller strike teams of his Knights of Ren. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>It was much more thrilling to be involved in the fight. To watch Resistance ships explode one after the other as he pulled the triggers from his TIE Silencer. To feel the burning in his lungs and legs in pursuit of his enemies. To hear the sizzle of flesh as his saber plunged into his unworthy adversaries. It had been nearly two weeks since he fought in a battle and Kylo longed to leap back into the fray. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Anything to keep his mind off of her. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>At the thought of his greatest rival, he shifted his attention back to the droning behind him. His generals were discussing the latest plans and strategies to utilize against the Resistance. Over the past year the Resistance force had grown larger, from around two dozen to nearly two hundred if his agents were right. Anger burned deep in his core; if he had squashed them when they were at their weakest, they wouldn't even be an afterthought now. Two hundred rebels and thousands more sympathizers. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>The First Order had grown as well, their reach expanding deep into the Outer Rim. More stormtroopers were graduating from their programs and were deployed onto several planets. It begrudged Kylo to admit it, but Hux had improved their intelligence gathering immensely since Snoke's downfall; they were unleashed upon the galaxy now. Dozens of elite agents were operating for the First Order. Many were former agents of the Empire that had turned to mercenary or bounty hunting work after the Empire's fall. It was easy to recruit seasoned agents to teach imperial methods to the newer ones..</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>They were finally able to carry out more sophisticated operations for the First Order, the agents instigating discord and uprisings across worlds.  Disrupted planets were easier to acquire, especially once the First Order was there to reorganize the structure. There was a dedicated group of agents that were sent to find the Resistance and infiltrate them, but so far their efforts had failed. It had been nearly a year since he saw the scavenger in person, and he would have her brought before him the second the rebels were found. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>A few agents investigated curiosities as well. A voice had appeared and broadcasted itself to the rest of the galaxy. A voice claiming to be the dethroned Emperor Palpatine. He had been receiving visions of fire and darkness through the Force, his grandfather's voice kept him awake at night, repeating the words of the broadcast. He ordered these agents to locate the source of the broadcast and unearth Sith relics as well. He had pulled additional agents off of other projects to read old imperial reports and visit the same planets as Darth Vader. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>The Emperor's reappearance was a threat to the First Order, there wasn't room for two empires to control the galaxy. Kylo had instructed this contingent of agents to report directly to him for this assignment. Hux hadn't been pleased of course, but Kylo was the Supreme Leader and therefore he had to proceed more cautiously now. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Openly defying Kylo was now treason. Their dynamics had shifted since he became Supreme Leader, but Hux understood that he needed to play along if he didn't want the life choked out of him. At Kylo's request, Hux had recommended his five best reporting agents to the taskforce searching for Palpatine, with strict instructions to report on anything significant. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>One of these agents was scheduled to meet with Kylo in person after this pointless meeting with the generals. He decided to dismiss the generals and move on with the day's meetings. He was itching to train after alternating between standing and sitting all day. After all, no new information was being reported. His generals could easily restructure resources without him and the rebels were more of an annoyance than any serious concern. He just needed to know the scavenger's whereabouts. He always had to know where she was. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Kylo turned away from the window and his thoughts, and addressed the generals.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>"If nothing new has changed, this meeting is over. Carry on as before."</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>"Supreme leader, do you approve of our direction? We need your confirmation to-"</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>"Go."</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>The generals hurriedly gathered their holopads and evacuated the conference room. Kylo pressed the room's comm device and informed the officer he was ready for the agent to be sent in. He turned back to the window, watching the ships as he waited, scrolling absent mindedly through his datapad to familiarize himself with the agent and her crew. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>The Force alerted him to the agent's presence before the door swished open and he straightened his shoulders before turning to face her, placing the datapad on the table before him. The click of her boots echoed in the large room, sharp and precise steps, followed by a male Togruta. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Cipher Four. Shursi Bilda. Bits of information from her popped into his head from her dossier. A Mirialan. Tattoos. bold black ink on dijon skin, extended across her forehead and trickled down her right cheek to her neck before disappearing into her uniform. Kylo recalled Mirialan tattoos were a sign of accomplishments and he wondered how many more she had on her; the rest of her skin was covered by the uniform agents typically wore when on board First Order ships and her hands were covered in regulation black gloves. She approached the table and stood stiffly at parade rest, eyes straight ahead.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>The Togruta stayed behind, leaning against the wall by the door. White and red lekku framed his orange face. His expression mimicked the agent's, eyes facing coldly ahead. Some of the markings on his face almost looked like fangs, an appropriately intimidating appearance in his line of work. The Togruta's name flashed through Kylo's mind; he had seen it moments ago on his datapad. Ojen Rardoze, a mercenary. Agents were given leave to recruit who they needed to to accomplish their work, it wasn't out of the ordinary for them to associate with those not a part of the First Order. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>"Your report, Cipher Four?"</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>"I believe I have located a way to Palpatine, Supreme Leader," Agent Bilda responded, her imperial accent highlighting her professional tone. According to Kylo's datapad, she came from a family that had served the Empire faithfully for many years. Her mother had also been an agent.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>"Where is he?" Kylo held the eagerness away from his voice. This was better news than he could have hoped for, and so quickly after the broadcast first appeared. He could stop the threat before it made further encroachments on his territory. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>"Sir, I have located a Sith wayfinder in possession of the Alazmec of Winset."</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>"Cultists that worship Darth Vader... On Mustafar, correct?" Of course, Mustafar. That was the planet where his grandfather completed his descent into the dark side of the Force. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>The wayfinder was a gift for him. Passed from grandfather to grandson. The only family member who was there for him. He would accomplish what Darth Vader could not and defeat Palpatine to rule the galaxy. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>"Yes, sir. It will lead you to a hidden planet." </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>"Good work, Cipher Four. Is there anything else to report?" </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>"No, sir."</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>"Does anyone else know this information?" The Force around Kylo hummed with anticipation. Agent Bilda was damned good at her job, but he couldn't risk anyone else knowing what she knew. The fewer who knew the details of his mission, the stronger his first attack would be. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>"No, sir," she repeated, understanding dawning on her face, but it was too late.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Kylo reached out with the Force and slammed Rardoze's head against the wall. The Togruta crumpled to the ground, his undignified pose no longer matching the cool posture he held moments before.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>As Bilda drew her blaster and fired at him, Kylo ignited his saber and reflexively sent the bolt back at her. The bolt rebounded against her blaster and Bilda dropped it, swearing in frustration from the sparks burning her fingers. Kylo slashed the conference table separating them. There was no obstacle between them now.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>The Force humming in his ears grew louder and louder until Kylo realized, the Force wasn't singing to him, it was her. The agent was Force sensitive and the Force flowed through her strongly, almost musically. Bilda began to walk backwards, and she raised her arms slowly, levitating herself off the ground. The objects in the room flew against the walls, the chairs and table halves moving to the side, clearing their battleground. This wasn't like his standoffs with Rey, his darkness clashing against her light. This was akin to his battle against the former master of the Knights of Ren. The room radiated with the dark energy that surrounded the duo. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>This schutta was trained. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Some of the chairs clustered more carefully in front of Rardoze, like a protection barrier. Bilda must care for him. He could use this as leverage against her. Just as he began plotting his next moves, Bilda unleashed her attack.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Quickly, she crossed her arms in front of her and the objects hurtled towards Kylo. He flung his arms out in response and pushed back with the Force. The furniture hung in the air, quivering as they wrestled to gain control. The scavenger's angry, tear-streaked face flashed in Kylo's mind. This was the reverse of his previous stalemate; instead of pulling, they were pushing for dominance over each other.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>"Who are you?" Kylo bellowed. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>The Mirialan shrieked at him in response; her auburn hair fell loose from its bun and framed her face, her yellow eyes burned with anger. The two were mirror images of each other, shaking with rage and sweat. Nearly a minute passed as they struggled with each other. Finally, Kylo felt her give, and he gave a final push with his mind to throw the objects against the walls, away from them. Bilda ignited her own saber and charged forward, through the cleared space.  </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Saber still in hand, he deftly sidestepped out the way. She stumbled through as though she expected the force of her charge to be countered by a block. Kylo flourished his lightsaber and called out at her.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>"You need a teacher," he mocked. His cockiness sounded like something his father would say. The words were like those he spoke to the scavenger long ago. Clearly, the agent was an amateur with a lightsaber, especially if she'd been forced to conceal her aptitude with the Force. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>"I don't need a teacher to kill you!" </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>She charged again, he stepped again and lithely twisted his body out of harm's way. Kylo knew the agent could give him valuable information if he left her alive, but the potential of having another powerful Force user escapee was too great a risk. He needed to end this battle by ending her. Kylo spun around and swung out at her, and she blocked as he expected her to. Pushing back against her, he backed her against the wall. Bilda spat in his face, but he knew better than to fall for distractions.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>"After I take care of you, the Togruta is next."</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Bilda let out an enraged scream and thrust her saber up to break his hold. Kylo froze her arms with the Force and thrust her saber forward, into her stomach. Her scream cut out in shock and her eyes left his face to look over his shoulder at the mercenary. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Then Shursi Bilda disappeared.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>With nothing left to hold, Kylo released his grip. He deactivated his saber and listened carefully. The humming in the Force had vanished, the fresh scent of charred flesh lingered from where the Mirialan had been. He paced the room, looking for any sign of the agent, but there was none. He knew Force users could pass into the Force when they died, but there was no sign of her clothes or lightsaber.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Just as suddenly as their fight had begun, it was over.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>He activated his personal comlink to contact an officer. "Send me Hux," he ordered. "I have some questions about one of the agents he recommended to me. Send a squadron up here, too. We have a prisoner to interrogate."</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>This was another mystery for him to solve, a welcome distraction from thinking about the scavenger. He knew there were other Force users out there, scattered across the galaxy after the fall of the Republic, but who dared to move against him? As Supreme Leader of the First Order, he was able to spread fear through the galaxy about the vastness of his power. Did he have another challenger besides Palpatine? </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Zannah - thank you for being a super beta! </p><p>This chapter is from an OC's POV, but most chapters after this will be from Ben or Rey's perspectives.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shursi kriffed up. Shursi kriffed up <em> big </em>time. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>What asshole kills their greatest adversary in their first meeting? Clearly Kylo Ren had no sense for the dramatic despite his brooding appearance and powermove posturing. Ojen had warned her about this and told her it was reckless to approach Ren this early. He had insisted that he come along and protect her in case their meeting turned sour, but Ren got the drop on them anyway.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Ojen. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She looked away from the man who currently had his lightsaber plunged in her - and not the fun way - and looked at her lover's body crumpled on the floor. <em> I'm sorry, Ojen </em>, she thought bitterly. There was no glory in going out like this, with no damage dealt. She didn't even get a scratch on Ren. She should have practiced her lightsaber training more. She should have attacked first. She should have stayed with her gang. She should have ignored those commands in her head. She should have -</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Suddenly, Shursi felt hands on her waist and back and she was pulled, impossibly, through the wall and into darkness. She blinked, bewildered by the change in light. Before her eyes could adjust, there was a sharp pain against her head and she fell into unconsciousness.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>When she woke, she was still in the dark. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>There was so little light that there was nothing for her eyes to adjust to. Lying on her back, she stared up at the stars, trying to regain her orientation. The stars were like looking through pinpricks in black paper; there was no moon in sight. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Her head was throbbing, almost like someone had bludgeoned her. Remembering the minor detail that she had been <em> stabbed </em>, she clasped her hand to her stomach and felt scar tissue through the hole burned through her uniform. She rolled over to assess her back - the saber had gone straight through her - and encountered another hole and scar. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Somehow, she had been healed. Her abductor had also taken care to clip her lightsaber to her belt.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>From her vantage point on the ground, Shursi could see faint lines of white light illuminating the pathway she laid on and she crawled over to investigate her surroundings. She experimentally reached past the light line and down; nothing but air. There was no telling how far down this abyssal pit went. It was much better to stay within the lines while she explored her surroundings. She sat cross-legged on the ground and leaned back, using her arms as support while she studied her new environment. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Parallels of white lines surrounded her. There were several such pathways in this place and they were above and below her, reminding her of the multi-tiered highways speeders used on ecumenopoleis like Axxila or Coruscant, large city-planets. There were no speeders here, only large complex symbols scattered here and there. There was also one such symbol near where she was sitting.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>The symbol was a massive circle encased in a diamond, all in white like the lines she was surrounded by. It stood nearly three times her height and it reminded Shursi of the personal holovid theater of a well-to-do gangster she had encountered in what felt like another life. Aurebesh characters lined the borders of the symbols, but the words appeared to be complete gibberish. The common ciphers that came to her mind resulted in meaningless translations. Just when she felt she was able to find a thread to follow in decoding the words, the characters faded away and were replaced with new ones.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>How puzzling.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>But solving this riddle could come later. She needed to determine if she could find a way out of here first. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Shursi pulled her comlink from her inner jacket pocket and attempted to contact Ojen or her crew on Axxila, but the signal wasn't working. The comlink was one of the few possessions she had carried with her. She was only intending to give Ren the report to guide him to Mustafar, her planned confrontation was meant to come much later. She had only just built her first lightsaber and hadn't had time to properly train with it. Her proficiency with blasters was unrivaled; she always seemed to draw faster than her opponents, but her melee skills left much to be desired. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She had been so unprepared to face Kylo Ren. It had been foolish to think that any of the agents he recruited to find ancient Sith artifacts would live, even if she wasn’t actually searching for the artifacts. Her instructions were to place the Sith wayfinder on Mustafar. She figured she was unimportant enough to not be killed personally by Ren himself. The plan was for her and Ojen to flee the star destroyer before they could be escorted to any prison cell, all without revealing her aptitude for the Force.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She had been instructed to keep her abilities secret after all, by the same voice who commanded her to infiltrate the First Order and later to guide Ren to the Sith wayfinder. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>The whispered thoughts in her mind had guided her throughout her whole life. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>At seventeen, she had received her first orders. The whispers commanded her to murder her mother in cold blood and assume her position as leader of the Nexu Fangs. From there, the whispers advised her of how to manipulate and rule, both the gang and the Force. She had taken the Nexu Fangsfrom their position at the bottom of the underworld to one of the most respected gangs of Axxila. Ojen and Darmois served as her right- and left-hand men as well as her lovers. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <em> You always flirt with danger, baby. Don't tell Ren about the wayfinder until you're ready to take him on. He was obsessed with the Sith Lords of old. He'll jump on the chance. </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She should have listened to Ojen. Despite his meathead appearance, he was always cool and calculating. When the whispers told her to live a double life as gang leader and agent for the First Order, she knew she could rely on him to keep track of things. He was effective at reigning in her impulsivity. Sometimes. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Once Darmois died, he had to fight harder to convince her to listen. The death of half her heart filled her with grief and rage that the other half of her heart could not sway. Shursi had thrown herself into developing her Force abilities to the fullest. It felt like the perfect channel for her anger. Ojen obliged with his new leadership responsibilities as Shursi took on more and more First Order assignments until she was hand-selected by Ren himself for the most secret of missions.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>The whispers commanded her to continue training her abilities and sent her on a mission more secret than the First Order's. Once her abilities were strong enough, she was to challenge Ren, take him down, and assume the title of Supreme Leader. The First Order and the galaxy were almost hers to control. She knew she was being groomed as a mouthpiece for the whisperer, but her powers were doubling in strength and power every day. One day, she and Ojen would stage a coup against the whisperer and take full control. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>A new whisper intruded on her recollections and longing for what could have been. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <em> Shursi Bilda, you will rise and move forth. Find the portal. </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Her body was compelled to make her stand and walk forward, but she made no efforts to stop herself. She recognized that the suggestion was carried with the Force, like she had done so many times to those with weaker minds, though she was not weak-willed herself.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>This time, the whisper was in her own voice. And if she couldn't trust herself, how would she be able to escape this prison?</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Her walk took her past still more of the several symbols, and if these symbols were portals, they were closed ones. The pathways meandered through this strange place, unlike any city or planet she had ever visited before. Perhaps she found herself in some unearthly dimension. She had heard that there were many mysteries in the Force, and she supposed that this was another of them. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Shursi had no way of telling time in this place. She could have been walking for minutes or hours for all she knew. She didn't even know how many hours were in a day in this place, or even if it was day or night. She encountered no other beings, no foliage, no buildings. The place simply was. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>"It's almost like a world between worlds," she spoke to herself and a shudder went down her spine.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>The Force hummed approvingly around her. It was still in this place, but fainter, somehow. At a minimum her powers were muffled. She had been unable to manipulate any of the symbols and could no longer use her powers to will herself to move faster. Even her appetite and thirst was diminished, which served her because there was nothing to eat and drink from her surroundings.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Bright flashes of light far in front of her changed the endless scene and she ran towards the source.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Sure, it was rash to head towards the light, which was likely dangerous, but if rushing towards danger got her into this situation, it could also get her out of it. When she finally approached the flashing light, she realized that it was centered and framed in one of the large, complex symbols. Finally, there was something different!</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>The light flared across the portal and Shursi was unable to make out anything in the brightness, but eventually the light abated and she watched as two humans collapsed before her. One of the humans was a young woman, hardly more than a girl, adorned in white cloth and brown leather. To the right of the woman was a tall, strongly built man who looked like he could give Ojen a run for his money. He was covered in black, down to the hair that covered his face. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>The sound of chanting, of destiny, came from the portal. Those same chants had sounded like cheers for her, only a few months ago.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Then, the man was lifted in the air - </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p><em> By the Force </em>, she noted.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>- and his sweaty locks fell back and Shursi recognized the face of the man who had bested her so recently.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Kylo Ren.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She wrinkled her face in rage and screamed at the man who had ruined her plans. She had to fight and conceal her true power for so long. She had sacrificed so much. She had followed the whisperer's plans to the letter. Victory had nearly been in her grasp, all she had to do after placing the Sith wayfinder on Mustafar was to follow the navigation coordinates back to Exegol and defeat Ren, finally proving her strength and loyalty to her master.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>"As once I fell, so falls the last Skywalker!"</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Her master's voice drowned out the chanting, the owner of those whispers that had always guided her. It sounded almost as if Lord Sidious was behind her, but when she spun to check behind her, her master wasn't there. He must be there, on the other side of the portal. Before Shursi had a chance to test going through the portal and joining her master, Ren's head lolled back and he was thrown forcefully away.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Suddenly, the scene of the portal followed him, like Shursi had been thrown with him. She stumbled forwards, towards the portal and caught herself. The unexpected movement had taken her by surprise and she watched Ren's trajectory, captivated, as he fell into a chasm hitting ledge after ledge. He had fallen several feet down before he managed to grasp a ledge. As his fingers scrambled for purchase, the emperor's voice boomed through the chasm, rumbling loudly with its echoes. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>"Let your death be the final word in the story of rebellion!"</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Breathing heavily, Ren pulled himself on the ledge and onto his feet. His eyes darted around desperately, needing to find a way out. He found a handhold and started making his way up. Shursi found herself wanting to be at her master's side more than anything she had ever wanted in her life, more than guaranteeing Ojen's safety, more than bringing Darmois back to life. She did not need to rule over anything if she could just have a taste of the power she sensed emanating from the portal. This place she found herself in felt like it had leached all the Force out of her, but this portal was almost like a wellspring, an oasis in a desert, the source of all energy. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>"You are nothing. A scavenger girl is no match for the power in me."</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Above Ren, the woman must have taken up arms against her master. Ren was likely climbing up to aid her. Shursi thought about reaching through, and sending him falling back into the seemingly bottomless depths of the cavern, but opted to wait instead.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Ren's arms were shaking so much from the effort, he was just as likely to fail without any help from her. She would wait until he was nearly at the top of chasm so he would know what it was like to fail when he was so close to victory, just as she had. With the portal following Ren, she needed him to get closer to the top of the chasm so she could see the action. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> "I am all the Sith!" the emperor called out with finality and Shursi raised her fist and roared in solidarity. This was it, the moment before they would unleash themselves on the galaxy as master and apprentice. She would go through the portal and be at her master's side. Maybe too much time hadn't gone by, maybe she could still rescue Ojen.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>"And I am all the Jedi!" </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Ren jerked his head up at the woman's defiant shout. A loud explosion echoed down the cavern, and all was silent. Shursi lowered her fist to her side and knew she had to let Ren reach the top of chasm after all. He was her only way of knowing what happened. When he reached the top, her suspicions were confirmed.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>The Emperor was gone. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Less interestingly, the young woman was on the ground again, motionless, with two lightsabers at her side. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Ren lifted himself out of the chasm and ran towards the woman. He slid next to her and scooped the woman into his lap, cradling her in his arms. Shursi realized this woman was the Jedi she heard rumors about over the last year. She had just proclaimed herself as such after all. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>An actual Jedi! They were reportedly extinct. Rumors came and went that the mythological Luke Skywalker had trained students to follow in his Jedi footsteps, but she had never encountered any trained Force-sensitives in her missions. She had heard about this woman before, that she was a soldier of the Resistance, Shursi had dismissed it as propaganda against the First Order. After all, it was easier to sway the people of the galaxy if they believed a legendary warrior of light was on the side of "justice."</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>There was an extra detail to the rumor about the Resistance soldier, which was that Ren was reportedly obsessed with finding her. This woman had been marked as his enemy. She had overheard First Order troopers discussing urgently redirected missions whenever Ren had detected her whereabouts. It seemed that Ren had found the Jedi at last, only to lose her in the end. Still sitting with her in his lap, Ren looked around desperately, as if he was searching for someone to help them. Shursi could see the tears in his eyes.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Pathetic. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She watched in amazement as Ren placed his hand on the woman’s belly and seemingly willed her back to life. After their battle, she knew Ren was powerful in the Force, but was he capable of resurrection? This was reckless. She had read about transferring life through the Force and knew how dangerous it was. One could easily give too much, especially if they were trying to resurrect the dead. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>The woman moved suddenly and grabbed Ren's hand before pulling herself into a sitting position. Perhaps the Jedi wasn't as close to death as she appeared. Shursi dared to hope that she could harness this power for her own. There was someone she needed to bring back herself. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Ren and the Jedi stared at each other in wonderment and kissed passionately.  </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Shursi's heart twinged with pain as she thought of Ojen and Demarois and how she longed to be with them. Now was the time to test the portal and move forward. The pair before her were weak and exhausted; it was the perfect time to attack.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Unaware that they would leave this peaceful moment, Ren laughed as the Jedi touched his face, shaking her head with disbelief that she was alive. It wasn't long before the laughter vanished, the life fading from his eyes as he fell on his back, dead. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>There was a cost to saving someone from death. As quickly as his laughter disappeared, Ren faded away, leaving his clothes behind. He had passed into the Force. Shursi barely had time to process the death of her adversary before the light flashed before her again and she flung her arms up to block the sudden brightness. The ancient chanting had resumed. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>The light faded and she lowered her arms as she witnessed Ren and the Jedi's collapsed forms again.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>"As once I fell, so falls the last Skywalker!"</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>The scene was repeating itself. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Shursi turned away from the portal as the scene before her replayed. Ren gave his life for this Jedi? How long had she been gone for the Supreme Leader and a Resistance soldier to decide to join forces to destroy her master?</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>His death led to unanswered questions. How had he transferred enough life to save someone? She wanted to learn this power.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She recalled Lord Sidious chuckling to himself when she asked how someone could have the power to save someone from death. Apparently she was not the first of his disciples who turned to him for answers in this matter.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Even if resurrecting the dead was impossible, she needed to find out what happened to Ojen. Shursi had to make sure he was safe; she couldn't bear to lose him either. Not that it would matter if she couldn't escape this damned place. First, she would have to go through the portal. If she went before Ren saved the Jedi's life, perhaps she could prevent him from dying and get some answers before she killed him herself. Ren had just grasped the top of the chasm and was pulling himself up. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>It was now or never.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Shursi grasped her thumbs inside her gloved palms and trustingly stepped through the portal, hoping her blind faith wouldn't lead to her doom. She bounced off the barrier; the only harm done to her was an unpleasant tingling sensation across her front and foot where she made contact with the portal. The sensation stopped soon after she stepped back and the gentle humming of the power emanating from the portal increased in intensity. It was like the Force was laughing at her, chiding her for being impatient.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <em> Not yet, Shursi Bilda.  </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She witnessed Ren cradling the Jedi in his arms. He searched again for help that wouldn't come. The memory of her recent mortal wound came to her. Ren had attacked first and she was forced to reveal the strength of her abilities. Neither had been able to best the other through their knowledge of the Force and they had turned to resolve their stalemate through lightsaber combat. If only she had practiced more, but she had been foolish and depended on her blaster proficiency to save her. Her failure led to her opponent fatally stabbing her with his saber as she was backed against the edge of the room.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>It had been a moment of certain death, yet someone had pulled her through a kriffing wall. Her life had been saved.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She watched Ren transfer his life energy to the Jedi and seal his fate for the second time, but with new understanding. Perhaps she was meant to do some saving of her own. If she pulled him through the portal, she would save Ren and likely obtain Ojen's location and determine if he was still safe. Then she would defeat him and take over his mantle as Supreme Leader per her last orders. She had bigger aspirations after all.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>The Jedi came back to life and sat herself up to look properly at Ren. Shursi saw the love in his eyes as he looked at Rey and decided she felt particularly spiteful.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She could wait for the scene to cycle through again and prevent Ren from saving the Jedi, or she could take him now and use threats against the Jedi's safety as leverage. She knew that if Ojen was gone there was nothing stopping her from tearing the galaxy apart. If Ren loved the Jedi, he could feel similarly.   </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Before Ren and the Jedi could kiss - she would not give him this peace - Shursi grasped the back of Ren's shirt and a fistful of that pretty hair and pulled Ren's brillibab tree-like trunk through the portal. The portal gave her no resistance, it seemed she had permission from the portal to take things, but not to leave herself. At least not yet, she hoped.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Without ceremony, she swung Ren onto the pathway before facing the Jedi in the portal. Did the Jedi see her?</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>The Jedi sat dumbfounded, a copy of Ren's shirt clenched in her hands, and the portal vanished, leaving behind the now familiar symbols that decorated this world. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Zannah is the best beta! &lt;3</p>
<p>CW: Rey grieves Ben.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Be with me.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When the bond opened between them on Exegol, Rey knew Ben had returned. For the first time, she threw herself willingly into the bond, finally embracing their connection. The bond had once been marked by an eerie silence and stillness, but now it pulsed with a life of its own. The wholeness she felt from embracing their connection at long last made her regret not opening herself to him earlier. If she had taken his hand when he asked her, they could have experienced this belonging for an entire year already. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As she faced her grandfather’s guards and Ben faced his knights of Ren, she felt as if she were fighting side by side with him in the throne room again. Every shot he fired from his blaster - the one Lando had given him, she remembered him telling her - was full of self-assured power. This power was different from the dark energy he radiated; this time Ben was confident and sure in the path he was on. The path they would walk together.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey had passed his ancestral saber to him through the bond so effortlessly, so smoothly. This was the moment for her where every piece had finally fallen into place. She realized the longing she had felt her whole life had been her soul searching for him. Even as they turned against Palpatine, the seemingly resurrected leader of the former Galactic Empire, they were in sync. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They were a dyad; two that were one. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And later, the torment she experienced as Palpatine drew their lifeforce away was twofold, just as they could communicate effortlessly now, they also felt the other’s emotions more strongly. The chanting of the ancient Sith lords of the past only exacerbated the pain. She could hear him screaming her name in her mind, just as she cried out to him. When Palpatine sent Ben soaring away, she felt him fall and the pain from his already-battered body as he struck ledges on his way down. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With what little strength she had left, Rey had called upon the Jedi to help her, to</span>
  <em>
    <span> be with her </span>
  </em>
  <span>as she had yearned for so deeply during the past year of her Jedi training. And finally, they had come. The Jedi of the past called out to her. She even heard Luke, the Jedi Master she had encountered so briefly a year ago before he passed into the Force. Using their strength as support, she drew upon the Force to destroy Palpatine with his own attack, Force-generated lightning. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After the emperor’s defeat, Rey had collapsed and the bond between her and Ben began to shrivel. With the last reserves of her strength, she called for him. She thought she could sense him still, and as her heart pounded in her ears and her vision darkened, she ardently wished she could have had more time in the galaxy to just be with Ben. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Be with me.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And Ben had come back to her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She felt new life surge into her body suddenly and inhaled deeply, fresh breath shooting into her lungs. She felt the strong, sturdy arms around her and knew Ben was responsible for rescuing her from entering the beyond. She grasped his hand and sat up, looking into his eyes for the first time since Kef Bir, when she was certain he was lost to the dark side forever. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But he had come for her again, had fought for her again, together they took down another evil, just as they had defeated Snoke together. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ben,” she greeted him, confidently. This time, she knew he turned away from the dark. He had chosen to </span>
  <em>
    <span>be with her</span>
  </em>
  <span>, the way she had chosen him. He had overcome the persistent voices controlling his life and the burden of his family’s legacy to be at her side. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben smiled at Rey with tears in his eyes. His emotions poured through the bond: hope, sorrow, regret, joy. She rubbed his arms through his shirt, curling her fingers around the material reassuringly. His fingers caressed her neck, and he held her so tenderly, like she was about to leave him again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She never would. She had found her belonging at last. Wherever Ben was, she would go. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But then Ben vanished and she was left holding his shirt. The bond severed itself totally and completely and Rey gasped at the sudden loss. Desperately, she reached out for him, begging the bond to open itself to her and she felt nothing. It was as if her very soul was pulled out of her chest. She threw her head back and howled in anguish. She had never felt so open and exposed and raw and hurt. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>No one’s ever really gone</span>
  </em>
  <span> were the last words Luke spoke to Leia before he passed into the Force.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But Ben was. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her survival instincts as a scavenger kicked in. She grabbed the lightsabers, Luke’s and Leia’s, and fled the cave, clipping Ben’s destroyed blaster to her belt. She held Ben’s shirt close to her; these small tokens were all she had left of him. As she ran through the passageway, she could hear the sounds of starships firing. She had shut out the sound of them during her battle on the surface. How many of her friends had she lost? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With that thought in mind, Rey reached out with the Force and called out to Finn, her second-ever friend after BB-8. However, what was once so effortless seemed to now require her full concentration. She screamed his name, her voice echoing through the passageway, and it was almost funny that now she was the one shouting his name to make sure he was out of danger. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Rey?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn’s voice echoed faintly in her mind, the opposite of the clarity of the Jedis’ voices she had experienced what felt like eons ago. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Finn? Are you okay? </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Silence. It was as if she lost reception, like they were speaking on comlinks with poor signals. Rey had destroyed her comlink when she momentarily exiled herself on Ahch-To, but perhaps she would be able to fly away from Exegol and reconnect with her friends at the Resistance base on Ajan Koss. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She continued running, her feet slapping the rock of the cave until, finally, she reached the exit. The X-wing she had flown from Ahch-To was gone with pieces of the starfighter scattered on the landing. A familiar-looking TIE fighter was next to where the X-wing had been and her heart stung with sorrow again. Ben had found her, had truly been looking for her and only her. They were so close to finding some sort of happiness together and now it was out of reach.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The fleet of Star Destroyers that had greeted her so menacingly were now falling to the planet; several fell in a nosedive. Thousands, maybe even tens of thousands of starships were in the atmosphere above her. She was enraptured by how many of the galaxy’s denizens answered the Resistance’s call for help in defeating the Final Order. But how many had fallen?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Steeling her nerves, Rey approached Ben’s TIE fighter; perhaps she would be able to leave with this ship. Once she sat in the large seat, however, she quickly discovered it was inoperable. It didn’t matter what switches she flipped, the console wouldn’t flicker to life. For the second time that day, she was marooned. Rey balled up Ben’s shirt in her hands and screamed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now that she had a moment to pause and think, the events of the day caught up to her. She couldn’t keep track of all the emotions she felt from everything that happened. In a single day, she had discovered her lineage, fought her biggest adversary, been brought back from the brink of death, and found her literal other half, who was now gone forever, who would never </span>
  <em>
    <span>be with her </span>
  </em>
  <span>again, leaving a wound inside her she didn’t know would ever heal. Just when she thought she was starting to numb herself to the pain - a deep survival instinct - she felt the rawness of her separation from Ben all over again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Wiping her tears with the backs of her hands, she crawled out of the fighter, wondering if she was condemned to an eternity on Exegol. The sky above her seemed to be full of shooting stars as the starships blinked into hyperspace, dozens at a time. Finn and the others would be out of reach soon. And with the multitude of Star Destroyers plummeting towards the planet, her eternity on Exegol may not last long.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But then, the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Millenium Falcon</span>
  </em>
  <span> soared overhead, much closer than the other ships. She could sense Finn onboard like a small sputtering flame, although she couldn’t tell if there were any others with him. At a minimum, Chewbacca or Poe was with him, Finn was a better soldier than a pilot, after all.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Whoever was piloting the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Falcon </span>
  </em>
  <span>must have spotted her. The ship swooped towards her and decelerated, extending its landing ramp for her. Finn appeared and Rey called out his name, feeling some relief at his safety. Tucking Ben’s shirt into her belt, she prepared herself to jump on the ramp and summoned the Force to aid her. She felt the Force trickling gently inside of her, slow and unsatisfying. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She must be so tired that she can’t draw upon the Force properly, Rey told herself. She would have to rely on physics instead. Taking a few steps backwards, she began to run towards the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Falcon</span>
  </em>
  <span> and her friends. She leaped from the landing and her momentum carried her towards the ramp, but it wasn’t enough. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey grasped the ramp with her fingers. She let out an unflattering grunt as she tried to pull herself up, but it felt like her muscles had given up and refused to cooperate with her. Finn hurriedly ran down the ramp and clasped his hands around her forearms, pulling her up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That was a close one. Are you okay, Rey?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She nodded her head, allowing him to tug her arm over his shoulders. He supported her weight and led her into the safety of the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Falcon</span>
  </em>
  <span>. When they stepped over the threshold and out of any immediate danger, Rey felt the last bit of energy she had fade away, and she collapsed to the floor, nearly dragging Finn down with her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Chewbacca quickly appeared at her side and nudged Finn away with a large paw. The former stormtrooper began to protest, but the Wookiee’s low growl made him retreat. Chewbacca crouched beside Rey, watching her closely. In the past year, since Han Solo’s death, he seemed to have adopted Rey as a new companion, keeping a careful eye on her whenever they were in danger together. Rey summoned a reassuring smile for him and stood.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think perhaps I’ll lie down until we get back to Ajan Koss.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn patted Chewbacca on his arm. “Take care of her. I’ll let Lando know we’re good to go to hyperspace. Jannah should be fine on her own.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Wookiee made a worried growling sound and followed Rey as she headed to the captain’s quarters. The quarters were originally Han’s, but she tended to share the room with Poe on missions, having modified the room to have two smaller bunks inside. Before making the modifications, they offered the larger quarters to Chewbacca, but he refused, preferring to keep his old room. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey sat on her bunk, hoping that Chewbacca would leave her alone. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Ben’s gone</span>
  </em>
  <span>, floated through her head, and she wanted to be alone to figure out what lay ahead of her. She felt the urge to cry coming; she was so close to being alone and able to let down her guard.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But Chewbacca closed the door to her quarters instead before turning to her and growing mournfully.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can smell he’s gone,” he said in Shyriiwook. “You were with him… Did Ben come back home?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He gave his life for me, Chewie. We fought Palpatine together, he came to fight the Sith for me with only a blaster, and then he fell into a pit, and I defeated the emperor with the Jedi, and I thought I was gone, and he came back for me, and saved me, and he’s-” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Never coming back</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A gasping sob escaped Rey. Her fingers dug into the material of the shirt on her belt, her only mementos of Ben. They had just begun to experience the fullness of being a Force dyad and it was over just as soon as it began. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Chewbacca growled again, louder, joining Rey in weeping. She got up from her bunk and ran to the Wookie, wrapping her arms around him as tightly as she could and burying her face into his fur. The two mourned Ben’s loss together, perhaps the only two left in the galaxy who would. Rey was embarrassed for how out of control she felt, but Chewbacca didn’t seem to be bothered about openly mourning.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can show you what Ben was like, before everything happened. I know Jedi can see memories.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The idea of invading someone’s mind, someone’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>privacy </span>
  </em>
  <span>repulsed Rey. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Chewie, I don’t want to hurt you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He would want you to see. When the First Order captured me, I could see how much you meant to him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She breathed out deeply, and summoned the Force to her. This time, it spurted at her, flooding her with its familiar warmth. Still clutching Chewbacca tightly to her, Rey reached out into his mind, and was flooded with memories of a young Ben Solo. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She saw him walking through a leafy grin forest as a young boy. He was practically a carbon copy of his father with a cocky grin on his face. A cobalt butterfly fluttered around him and his grin morphed into a charming smile that would have made Rey melt if she ever witnessed it in person.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Next came another vision of Ben on the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Falcon</span>
  </em>
  <span>, a teenager scowling as he wrote with an ink pen on a piece of paper. Ink blots stained his fingers and he was surrounded by crumpled sheets of paper, subpar attempts at calligraphy. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then Ben as a young man in Jedi robes, self-assured and confident. A familiar-looking lightsaber was clipped to his belt. He hugged younger versions of his parents, Leia and Han, before turning to hug her - Chewie, she corrected. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After this last memory, Rey slumped backwards from the effort, exhausted. She would have hit the deck of the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Falcon</span>
  </em>
  <span> if Chewbacca hadn’t caught her. She blinked rapidly as her vision blurred from the exertion. Mind reading, an invasive ability she minimized using, was by no means an effortless Force trick, but it didn’t normally drain her like this. She steadied herself and pulled out of Chewbacca’s arms to sit back down on her bunk.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She must be tired from the events of the day. It felt like weeks since she trained with Leia, not hours. Rey’s stomach growled at her and she couldn’t recall the last time she ate, let alone slept. Chewbacca let out a gentle growl in response to her stomach and offered to get some rations for her. She nodded her head and he brought her food before heading to the cockpit with the others for their return trip to the Resistance base.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She clutched Ben’s shirt to her chest for the entire flight, muffling the sobs that escaped her. She didn’t want to draw any attention from the others to herself. From the others’ point of view, she was crying for no reason. She had defeated the former emperor and the supreme leader of the First Order in the same day, after all. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just when it seemed she had no more tears left to cry, they landed on Ajan Kloss. Rey lingered behind on the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Falcon</span>
  </em>
  <span>, not ready to be around the others in their celebration. She heard cheers as the landing ramp to the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Falcon </span>
  </em>
  <span>opened and Finn and Jannah’s voices cheering back in response. When it seemed like she was alone on the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Falcon</span>
  </em>
  <span>, she rose from her bunk and began to walk numbly around. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The movement felt good, despite her exhaustion. She checked the known problems of the ship, making sure her hasty repairs weren’t falling apart too soon. Perhaps she would be able to ask that the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Falcon</span>
  </em>
  <span> not go on missions for a while so she could make some more improvements to the ship. It could be a project for her, something good she could focus on. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A child’s laughter rang through the halls of the ship. Perturbed, Rey spun around to catch a glimpse of a younger - much younger - version of Ben running towards her and then </span>
  <em>
    <span>through</span>
  </em>
  <span> her. She spun around on her heels to look at him further, but he had already disappeared. He almost looked like a Force ghost, the way Master Luke appeared to her sometimes.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shaking off this vision, she made her way to the cockpit to check on the repairs she made there. Her eyes felt strained and puffy from the crying she did, but no more tears threatened to spill out. Soon she would be able to join the others in their celebration and masquerade as a reveler. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know what I have to do, Han Solo.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was Ben’s voice, distorted from the mask he wore as Kylo Ren. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sir, the Resistance has made it to Starkiller Base.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Clearly they have, since we are </span>
  <em>
    <span>on their ship!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His thunderously deep voice echoed through the cockpit. All was silent after, with only small beeps and humming from the console before her.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This ghost must have been from the year before, when Han, Finn, and Chewbacca came to destroy Starkiller Base and rescue her. She didn’t know he had made his way to the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Falcon</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Why did he leave the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Falcon</span>
  </em>
  <span> operable instead of preventing their escape? With a few slashes of his lightsaber, he could have prevented them from leaving, condemning them to stay behind. Was he so sure he would be able to stop them otherwise? Or did he want to leave them an opportunity to escape?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She sat in the cockpit and a traitorous sob escaped her. For the past year, he was always present, even if they didn’t always want to be around each other and now she was alone and empty. Maybe if she had seen the light and goodness in him earlier, Ben would still be alive. He was as trapped by the First Order as she was on Jakku. Both seemingly free, but forced to maintain the status quo. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If she had never met Finn and BB-8, she would have never left Jakku out of fear of missing her parents’ return. If the bond never happened, Ben may never have turned against Snoke and later Palpatine.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey heard footsteps behind her, shaking her out of her thoughts. She half-expected another ghost of Ben to appear, but when she turned in her chair, it was only Lando Calrissian, the man she and her friends rescued from Pasaana after several years of being stranded on the pre-starflight world. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lando smiled sadly at her and squeezed her shoulder reassuringly before sitting in the copilot’s seat. He looked tired as well. One of the last rebels still around, he had been a part of the original Rebellion against the Empire with Leia, Luke, Han, and Chewbacca. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben had called him his “Uncle Lando.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Chewbacca told me you were with Ben in his last moments on Exegol.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey nodded, sure she would cry again if she verbally acknowledged Ben’s death. She didn’t know if she was capable of moving on from losing him after she finally accepted their connection. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The kid made some bad choices, there was darkness in him.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lando paused and swallowed. The smile was gone from his face, replaced by mourning. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But he was my nephew and I will always love him. From what Chewie told me, he came home? I’d like to hear more about that.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not ready to talk about it yet… But he came home.” She didn’t know if she would ever be able to talk about it outside of the word vomit she shared with Chewbacca. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Rey, I don’t mean to be rude, but… you seem especially torn about Ben’s passing. Did something happen between you two?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I, ah, I’m not ready to talk about that either.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lando raised a knowing eyebrow at her. She needed to be more careful. The members of the Resistance might start to suspect her if she was too open about grieving </span>
  <em>
    <span>Kylo Ren</span>
  </em>
  <span>. She might lose her friends and she could be all alone again. After spending the past year hiding her bond from Ben from everyone, she knew it was wisest to continue to hide that aspect of their relationship. But </span>
  <em>
    <span>maybe</span>
  </em>
  <span> someday she would be able to share that with someone, and Ben’s family could be a good starting point. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>From behind her, she heard a loud meow and she quickly turned her head to find a creature sitting at the entrance to the cockpit. It was a fluffy ginger cat. The cat meowed loudly again before sauntering off deeper into the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Falcon.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” Rey stammered, unsure who decided to bring a cat onboard for a dangerous mission or even why. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Finn brought her onboard with the prisoner. She seems pretty gentle so we didn’t bother caging her up.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How did we get a prisoner?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Apparently he’s been spying for the Resistance, but Finn doesn’t trust him. I’m not sure why we rescued a First Order general, but Finn insisted. Can you keep an eye on him for me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey nodded her head. She wasn’t ready to leave the comfort of the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Falcon</span>
  </em>
  <span> anyways. She was scared to leave the ship and discover who else she had lost.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Great. He should be unconscious for a few more hours anyways, he’s been hurt pretty bad.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lando stood from the chair and gestured for Rey to follow him. Wordlessly, they walked to the back of the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Falcon</span>
  </em>
  <span>. As they stepped into the cargo hold, she spotted a man lying in the medical bay. His bright red hair reminded her of the man Poe often mocked in his embellished accounts about his battles against his greatest adversary.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armitage Hux, the general of the First Order. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>